00:00:03:00 - 00:00:27:03
Arianna
Oh, What's up, suckers? It's me. I'm going to talk about something a little different today. And before we get into that, as usual, just wanted to ask that if this channel's your kind of thing, if learning about ADHD, learning how to work with your ADHD, is your kind of thing, then please make sure that you like and subscribe.
00:00:27:15 - 00:00:56:07
Arianna
If you're listening to this as a podcast, please make sure that you subscribe. It helps me meet new people. It helps new cool people meet me. And that's the whole point. So, yeah, usually what I do here if you're new, is I sit down and I kind of talk about different usually productivity related things about ADHD. And that is my jam.
00:00:56:08 - 00:01:28:28
Arianna
I've always loved trying to figure out new ways to get things done. Trying new ADHD apps like that's that's my thing. But today I'm talking about something a little bit more personal, and it's something that originally I wasn't even going to talk about publicly, and I'll get into why? Closer to the end of this video. But yeah. So for those of you who need a little bit of backstory news, my husband came home and he had like an itchy throat.
00:01:29:06 - 00:01:51:23
Arianna
And I told him that it was probably allergies And by the end of the day, it still hadn't gone away. And he turned to me and he said, you know, I think I'm getting sick. And anybody who runs a family or has to take care of multiple people when they get sick knew that this was probably bad. And it was I wound up getting the flu.
00:01:52:21 - 00:02:37:19
Arianna
And my husband, where my husband was able to get over it in about three days, I needed five, came back from that I was doing mostly OK. But apparently it left my immune system not exactly ready to go out into the world yet because I went to the store and whoever was kind enough to leave me covered, I picked it up and I had exactly a week of feeling, mostly normal before I was once again stuck in bed, the sickest I've been in years to, if I'm honest, just wishing for it to be over came out of that and definitely was not ready to get back to things yet.
00:02:38:01 - 00:03:19:06
Arianna
And it took a little bit for me to get all of my energy back about a week. And if you're keeping score by the end of January, I had done fuck off because I had been basically sick from January 4th all the way until like January 26. Something crazy like that. And so basically my entire January was obliterated. But even worse than that was the fact that I hadn't done any of the things that I had been doing for myself for a month.
00:03:20:01 - 00:03:52:01
Arianna
And for anybody, I think that is a really hard thing to come back from. Right. You have a lot of routines rituals, habits, whatever word you want to use that you haven't really been doing for a month. And even if we're talking habits, habits generally take I think it's only usually about 21 days to develop. And it took me about a month to get better.
00:03:52:01 - 00:04:18:00
Arianna
So even if I had had a habit that I was doing every single day, I had not done it long enough for that habit to completely undone. And by the time that month was over, for the first time in my life, I remember being bored. I'm never bored I'm never bored because I'm usually very good at making sure that I have my options list that I've brought up before, that I've I've planned things out.
00:04:18:07 - 00:04:46:26
Arianna
So that I always have an idea of something to fill my time with. But when I came out of my room, finally and was able to do it without just immediately slugging along to the chair for the first time in my life, I stood there and I thought, What do I do now? And I would love to say that I am now to the point where I am getting everything done.
00:04:46:26 - 00:05:14:04
Arianna
I am jumping straight to the things that I have planned and that I've got this nice, solid routine going again. But I don't. And that has been so difficult. I have been thinking about how to get back from this, and I know how to get back from it. But I know that I cannot be the only person who has gone through something like this.
00:05:14:16 - 00:05:37:21
Arianna
Even if it's just on a lower level, And so I wanted to kind of share with you what my steps are. My next steps are to get to the point where I am more in control again, because you have to understand again, if you knew just to share, I was to the point where I was eating very well for myself.
00:05:37:21 - 00:06:09:02
Arianna
I had started moving more often, you know, whether that just be dancing around all silly or doing yoga or whatever. I was making time for all of the things that I wanted to do. I was feeling productive, I was feeling together, and I lost that. And so basically the steps that I am going to be taking next and the steps that I would suggest you take if you're in the same situation are as follows The first is to cry and feel sorry for yourself.
00:06:09:17 - 00:06:30:07
Arianna
And I know that that sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not. You really kind of need to work through emotions to be able to move past them. And I know that a lot of people don't like to do that because we have been raised in and I feel like this is not just in U.S. society. This is just in multiple societies in general.
00:06:30:18 - 00:07:04:24
Arianna
For some reason, we believe that feeling sad or admitting sad emotions is cathartic and it's not. Vulnerability to me is probably some of the greatest strength that anybody can exhibit. And really admitting to yourself that you feel bad, that you feel sad, that something is upsetting you is a really great way to take control again. And, you know, you could be looking at this and thinking that I'm full of shit which is totally fine.
00:07:04:25 - 00:07:42:24
Arianna
Maybe I am just rationalizing, you know, to make up for the fact that I sat at my kitchen counter bawling my eyes out this morning. But I honest to God, just it felt like I had slid all the way back to how I was before I got my diagnosis, before I wound up getting on medication where I felt frustrated and I felt depressed and I felt useless and I felt small and I felt so upset because I felt like all I was doing was spending my time watching everyone else around me get the things done I wanted to get done.
00:07:43:27 - 00:08:08:28
Arianna
And even though I knew that those things are things that I needed to do, I could not force myself to. I was spending way more time just sitting and tooling around on my phone than I ever had before. I was so angry at myself and my brain and I and if I sound like I'm going to cry, I promise I've not got that all out of the way this morning.
00:08:09:27 - 00:08:34:04
Arianna
But it is still a very emotional thing. You know, we live in a world where we are told that we are worth what we get done. We are worth the money we make. And when I'm spending all of my time sitting there not doing the things that I want to do, that makes me feel worthless, And I felt those things.
00:08:34:05 - 00:09:00:08
Arianna
And so I let myself feel them. And I let myself cry it out and feel sad and maybe even talk it out a little bit. Not with too many people, because I felt like this is kind of one of those things you don't understand unless you've been through it. But I did, you know, kind of talk it out with my husband a little bit and let it leak out a little bit to my friends on social.
00:09:00:18 - 00:09:24:27
Arianna
But I overall just kind of let myself feel it cry if I needed to cry, feel upset, if I needed to feel upset. And then as I started to abate, I said, OK, now it's time to move forward. And now the next step for me and the next step for you if you're in this situation is to sit down and think.
00:09:25:16 - 00:09:53:27
Arianna
And I don't just mean just think. I mean journal type it out. There are actually voice notes and voice journaling apps now, which is really cool. So even do that if you want, but let yourself work out the the answers to a few very important questions. Now, I want to say right now that if you just feel like you need to just journal out what's left of those sad feelings and any random thoughts you have, please do like that.
00:09:53:27 - 00:10:17:29
Arianna
That is also very important. But please don't forget that the best way to step forward right after acknowledging those feelings, because let's face it, you can't make something better if you don't acknowledge it's a problem in the first place. After that, the best way to start feeling in control again is to start working on how to fix it.
00:10:17:29 - 00:10:46:21
Arianna
So sit down and journal out, however, works best for you, even if it's just sitting alone in a room talking to yourself. No judgment here. Done that before Think about the answers to these three very important questions. The first, What do I want to get done now? What are the things that are really just kind of staring you in the face that you know, that you have been wanting to get done but you have not been able to force yourself to do?
00:10:47:19 - 00:11:28:26
Arianna
Question number two What do I want to get back long term? What routines do you want to be able to rebuild for yourself? What do you want to get back under you? And then the third is, which thing do I want to start working on first because notice I said thing, not things. And the reason I said this is because a lot of people, myself included, I'm still tempted, even though I know better a lot of people would say, OK, I was eating really well and I was working out in the morning and I was reading, you know, for an hour and a half day and I was doing this.
00:11:28:26 - 00:11:52:24
Arianna
No, you're doing that. And so I'm just going to go back to doing all those things by just shoving it all into my schedule and working a very tight schedule for the next three months. I talked about this in the video before. Don't do that instead. Pick one thing. Pick one routine that is the most important to you to get back and focus on getting that back in its groove before you start adding anything else on to it.
00:11:53:03 - 00:12:14:13
Arianna
If you're listening to this like Arianna, that sounds like a lot of work. Like you're telling me that now that I am not eating the way that I like anymore, we have to write that all the way back to square one. That sounds terrible. I don't want to do that. Keep in mind that if you were in this particular situation, you've done it before.
00:12:15:17 - 00:12:36:18
Arianna
You've done it before. And I keep telling myself that I've done this before. I built that before. I can build it again, OK? If we're thinking of things like a blog towel This isn't me having to go out and buy brand new blocks. I just have to take the blocks that are already there and rebuild the towers. It's the same concept.
00:12:37:16 - 00:13:03:15
Arianna
So just pick that one thing and rebuild it. Take it day by day, step by step. Treat it the way that you used to treat it when it was difficult to get it done before. And then finally, you're going to do what I just said. I'm going to rinse and repeat. Once you get that first thing out of the way, then you're going to work on the next thing and the next thing, and you will get to the point where you will rebuild what you had.
00:13:03:15 - 00:13:58:01
Arianna
And sticking with that block tower metaphor, maybe you find a better way to make a steadier foundation. But and I see this going through this myself, don't hate on yourself for it not happening right away. This is you. It takes time. It took time for you to rebuild that habit. It took months of focus and energy and backsliding and getting back on the horse for me to get to the point that I was at and it's going to be hard for me to get back to where I was, but it's going to take that same amount of time and it's ridiculous for me to say all of this stuff that took me six, seven, eight
00:13:58:01 - 00:14:00:22
Arianna
months to do. I need to get this done in a month.
00:14:02:23 - 00:14:22:03
Arianna
ADHD brains don't work that way. Most brains don't work that way. But ADHD brains especially don't. So I am saying this to you because it's something that I am having to tell myself often Go easy on yourself or go easy on yourself.
00:14:24:08 - 00:15:06:05
Arianna
Is something that takes time. You are a complicated as fuck system bag of meat run by an incredible supercomputer that takes lots of time to program and it's going to take some time to reprogram. And like I said earlier, I wasn't going to say anything about this initially because you know, my mind was like, I'm a coach and I'm supposed to be helping people through this shit and how are they going to trust me if I'm going through this kind of stuff, are not going to spend time with them some sort of mess?
00:15:06:13 - 00:15:32:27
Arianna
Aren't I going to sound like I am like the exact kind of person you don't want to trust? But here's the thing. I pride myself on being someone who understands. I mean, way deeper level what this feels like because I go through it and I've been through it, and yet I know how to rebuild from it. Make no mistake, I'm not afraid.
00:15:33:04 - 00:16:05:21
Arianna
I'm not I'm not giving up. I'm not sitting here saying, Oh, well, this is just me. Now, I know that I'm going to be fine, and then I will get back to where I was and frustrated. But I know I'm OK. And I want other ADHD or to feel that way when they go through shit like this. Maybe not even because they're sick, but because they've been on vacation for two, three months and they got back and they're having a hard time getting back into the groove of things.
00:16:05:21 - 00:16:28:08
Arianna
I want other people to feel like they are in control at the end of things like this, and that's why I'm here. I am here to make sure that other ADHD feel like they have someone battling it out in the trenches with them. And this is my way of showing you that I go through the exact same problems you do every day.
00:16:29:28 - 00:16:56:25
Arianna
So wish me luck. I know that this is going to be a pain in the ass and please don't go places if you're sick because I am living proof that someone's going to pick that shit up. And that is it for today. I will be back to probably regular stuff next week and please take care of yourselves. Drink plenty of water and I'll see you in the next video.
00:17:00:16 - 00:17:00:27
Arianna
Or.